As college admissions grow ever more competitive, and tuition ever more expensive, parents begin worrying about college ever earlier in their children’s lives. This can manifest in unhealthy ways, with undue levels of stress put onto students far too early. College is essential, and preparing for it is necessary, but done incorrectly this will do nothing but create stress for students and parents.
In this article, we’ll examine when and how you should begin thinking about college, and the best ways to prepare students for it in a manner that is healthy for everyone involved. The key takeaway is this: the best way to prepare for college is to become the best person you can be; the rest will follow naturally.
How Early is Too Early?
There are innumerable stories and anecdotes about parents stressing over the right preschool or kindergarten for their children, and worrying about how these will impact their eventual college chances. This is, in fact, too early to start thinking about college in a specific sense.
At a very young age, college should not be a proximate motivation for your choices of school or activities (though it is good to raise children with the idea of college generally, as a natural step in their educational careers). The preschool or kindergarten students go to does not matter for their eventual college applications; admissions officers do not care about a student’s preschool pedigree.
A competitive early school can matter if it is a K-12 program, in which case students who enter the school early do not need to compete for a spot later on. This is a niche case, and generally we do not think you need to stress this early. Much more important than where they go to school is nurturing a general love of learning, and helping them explore their passions.
Not every waking hour needs to be filled with activities, but many kids find passions early that stick with them for life. Genuine passion and curiosity should be pursued and nurtured at this age, and opportunities given for them to chase their curiosities. Supporting them earnestly is the best thing you can do.
The Beginning: Getting on Track
The first time you will need to worry about academics for your children is when tracking begins, generally in middle school. American schools generally (though not always) use tracks with students; they are either advanced, on level, or remedial. Once a student is on an academic track it sticks with them, often through the rest of their academic career.
Most schools begin differentiating students into an honors or advanced track in middle school, though some wait until high school, and others begin as early as elementary. This is generally done by counselors or teachers based on students’ grades and in-class performance. Tracking is very subjective, and in some cases comes down to how many spaces there are in these classes.
The best way to earn a seat in the advanced track is solid academic performance; we recommend some tutoring if a student is struggling. Getting into the advanced track is the first crossroads of school, and students who are not in it will have a much harder time when it comes to college admissions. Admissions officers check to see that students have challenged themselves academically, taking the hardest courses available to them, and in many schools you need to be on the advanced academic track to take these courses.
While colleges do not check or care about your grades or performance in middle school, your middle school track generally determines where you are placed in high school, and thus your remaining academic career.
High School: Where it Matters
Performance in high school, in both academics and extracurriculars, is what colleges care about most. The beginning of high school is still too early to be doing things specifically for college however. The trick is this: the same things that make students successful and happy in high school are what colleges are looking for.
The first is academic success, grades and courses and GPA. Doing well in courses does more than prepare you for college; the knowledge gained is useful for its own sake, and helps prepare students to be an active part of their broader community. Taking challenging courses helps students expand their horizons, and gives them new perspectives.
The brain functions much like a muscle, and grows stronger with repeated use and exertion, strengthening pathways and connections based on what it is needed for. Challenging courses and academic rigor prepare students for the work that will be demanded of them at top colleges.
In extracurriculars, genuine passion is what matters, a depth and breadth of involvement which only comes when a student is excited and motivated about what they are doing. Of course, finding and building lifelong passions is good for students outside the context of college admissions. Many students will continue their interests from high school through college or beyond, in one form or another.
Colleges want to see authenticity, and it is in students’ best interests from a personal standpoint to find activities they actually care about as well. Genuine passion and enthusiasm are hard to fake, and it is easier to take a passion project to great heights if driven by internal motivation.
You should support your students in exploring their passions, and help them deepen their involvement in their interests. This is generally not an active involvement, but instead a support of them in their endeavors. Remember, your student is the one who must do amazing things; you can serve as guide or counsel, or cheerleader on the sidelines, but you can’t do it for them.
When to Start Thinking About College
We recommend you begin discussing colleges explicitly in students’ junior year. At this point, they are more than halfway through highschool, and have established their academic credentials. This will give you a good idea of what colleges they have a good shot at, so it is time to begin discussing what they want from their collegiate experience.
While you definitely should discuss colleges with your student, remember that they are the ones who will be attending, and in the end this is their journey. Your role is counsel, to give sage advice and help them find what will best serve their ends.
We recommend visiting several colleges during junior year, and during the summer before senior year. These do not need to be the exact schools you will apply to, but instead can serve to give a more general sense of what college is like. While virtual visits have become increasingly common, we recommend visiting in person if possible.
Many parents also consider hiring outside help during this stage (or even earlier). We have an article on college counseling generally, which breaks down when hiring an independent counselor may be the best choice for you (and also one specifically on why we’re great at it).
Paying for College
Unlike the rest of the college process, thinking about how you will pay for college should begin much earlier. College is incredibly expensive, and these prices are only going up, with no sign of abatement. This makes paying for college an increasingly challenging prospect for many students.
We recommend you begin strategizing how you will pay for college early, so you have as much time as possible to build funds. While financial aid is available in many cases, most families are expected to contribute at least some to the cost of tuition.
We’ve written before about your options for saving for college, and how this can help you in the future. We have other more general guides to applying for financial aid, and on scholarship options.
Am I Too Late?
This is the corresponding concern, and one of the questions we get the most, alongside this one. Parents don’t know if they are starting too early, or too late, and are stressed in either case. If this is true for you, we recommend checking out our corresponding article, which covers whether it is too late to begin preparing for college admissions. (Hint, it never is).
Final Thoughts
It is only natural to worry about college for your children, and for parents to want to do everything in their power to help their children succeed. This creates a great deal of stress and pressure however, and can fray nerves. We hope that this article has given you a guide to the best way to approach your college journey, and provides actionable advice.
Of course, you don’t have to do this alone. Ivy Scholars offers tutoring and academic coaching services for students who need to reach the honors track, and candidacy building for those students who want guidance exploring their passions, or to have some help in taking them to the next level. Schedule a free consultation today to learn how we can help you on your college journey, no matter where you are in the process.
